This probably sounds insane. Let me explain.

I can’t count the number of times in my life that I’ve witnessed this exchange, or have been part of it:

Dog: bark

Human: [silence or mildly irritated noise]

Dog: Bark!

Human: Shush.

Dog: Bark Bark!!

Human: Quiet!

Dog: BARK BARK BARK!!!

Human: SHUT UP DAMMIT!!!

Then I was faffing about on r/greatpyrenees and a commenter recommended thanking the dog for barking. The logic being that some breeds like Great Pyrenees are bred for guarding livestock, and in that scenario barking is as much to put their fellow herding dogs, their flock or herd, and their shepherds or cowpokes on notice, as it is to warn off any potential intruders. When these dogs bark, sometimes it’s just to let their humans know that something is up, and what they are seeking is acknowledgement, that the humans are now alert to the issue (which might be anything from an armed burglar to a leaf blowing past in a suspicious manner). So a quick “Thank you!” can let the dog know that they’ve achieved that goal and they can go back to being chill.

And you know what? For some of us, it really works. I decided to write this post because I was just in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner, and Franklin was out in the back yard and started barking at something. The back door was open, so I hollered, friendly-like, “Thank you Franklin! I got it!” — and he stopped. Immediately. And went back to whatever he had been doing, probably fighting a stick or giving some bug the chase of its life. I also know from the subreddit that other Great Pyr owners have had similar success.

Now, some caveats.

One, this won’t work for all dogs. Some dogs have other motivations for barking. Heck, given the mind-boggling physical and psychological diversity of dogs, I’ll bet there are dogs out there that will bark harder if they know their human is also on alert. BUT: it costs nothing to try, and if works, hey, you just improved your life and that of your dog (and probably the lives of your neighbors).

Two, this may not work right away. I didn’t start using this technique with Eleanor until she was basically an adult, and she picked it up in just a few days. Franklin is 8 months old and still basically a puppy, and we’ve been working on it for a while now. He’s getting better. ALSO: I’ve rarely seen getting mad at a dog and yelling be effective (scaring a dog into submission is not the same as building good habits), so if you’re open to trying something that might not work anyway, why not try something positive?

Three, like most things related to good dog discipline, this requires some human training, too. The “Thank you!” method is most effective if you say it loudly and happily right after the first full bark (which might be anything from “Yip!” to “Whooo-wooo-woo-woo-woo”). If you wait until the second or third bark, you’re just being rude and making the dog bark more to get the positive response they’re looking for — and also conditioning the dog to expect that they will need to bark more than once to get your attention. You can bake in bad habits just as easily as good ones. I don’t have much use for Dr. Phil, but I agree with his dictum that “You teach people how to treat you”, and IME that goes double for dogs.

Four, it’s not going to work every time. Here’s my most recent exchange with Franklin, which happened as I was finishing the previous paragraph:

Franklin: Bark!

Matt: Thank you, Franklin!

Franklin: …

Franklin: Bark!

Matt: Thanks, Franklin. I got it. You can stop now.

Franklin: mrrRRMMmmrrmmrr

Matt: I hear ya, buddy. It’s all good.

If it had gone any farther, I would have told him to stop. At this point he knows that if I raise my voice and sound cross, it’s time to concede or lose a privilege — in this case, the privilege of being outside.

Also, if anyone’s wondering, I’m not trying to get my dogs to stop barking entirely. If something is genuinely amiss, I want to know about it. I just want them to settle down quickly the 999 times that it’s nothing. How will I know the difference? If someone or something is trying to get into the yard or the house, “thank you” isn’t going to stop them barking. This is where the training thing goes both ways — if they keep barking after I’ve thanked them, they generally have a reason, it’s just usually an innocuous reason, like the aforementioned suspicious leaf, or a bug farting three blocks away (not my joke, it’s an r/greatpyrenees classic). If they seem genuinely upset, I go check.

That’s about it. Not perfect, not effortless, not going to work in every case — but good enough and easy enough to be worth a try, I think. Let me know how it goes in the comments.

doi:10.59350/yahdy-xjt29